


Merry Christmas Perville

by Nanenna



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Cats, Alternate Universe - Dancetale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Lamias, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Alternate Universe - Outertale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underlust (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Do not post to another site, Do not repost, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Good W. D. Gaster, Humor, M/M, Multi, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Pre-Accident W. D. Gaster, Pre-Undertale, Scientist W. D. Gaster, The fluff can be literal, W. D. Gaster is not related to Skelebros, but it's also just you know... fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-09-25 02:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17112335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanenna/pseuds/Nanenna
Summary: I joined a Secret Santa event in a discord server and my recipient is Perville, who was an absolute delight to write for. Here's your gift, I hope you enjoy!





	1. Out of This World

**Author's Note:**

  * For [perville](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perville/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Perville's gift I decided to just do darn near EVERYTHING on their wish list (there was a Kustard one too, but that got turned into a birthday present). So every chapter is going to have an AU and a relationship in the introduction. Enjoy! (It's the 6th somewhere in the world and I'm tired of sitting on these!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU: Outertale  
> Pairing: Sansby (Sans/Grillby)

Sans and Grillby were sitting outside, the picnic Grillby had carefully cooked and packed was laid out on a blanket on the very crest of a small hill. Not that either of them were enjoying it quite yet, they were sitting in the grass nearby, plucking the blades and admiring the feel of it running through their fingers. Grass hadn’t grown on that tiny moon. The sun came out from behind a cloud (two more things that just didn’t exist on Ebott, trapped as it was in a tidal lock and lacking enough atmosphere for something as frivolous as clouds). Sans turned his face into the warmth, eyes closed in bliss as he basked in the light. Grillby couldn’t help feeling jealous. But at the same time the sight was so precious, so beautiful, so pure…

Grillby leaned in and gave Sans a little smooch on the cheek.

Sans gasped, eyes opening wide in surprise. He turned in time to see Grillby laugh, his own eyes crinkled as he joined in the laughter.

“what was that for?”

“… I couldn’t help myself.” Grillby leaned forward and kissed the other cheek. “… There, now they’re even.”

They both started laughing again, clinging to each other for support. The problem with clinging to someone for support when that person is clinging to you for support is that really neither of you have support. They both fell over, sprawling out as they laughed helplessly, neither one even sure why anymore.

Eventually they started to calm down, staring at each other through the grass. Sans brought up a hand to wipe some of the glittering stardust clinging to his cheek off and looked at it. “it’s still so cool! but papyrus is going to tease me horribly about it.”

“… Let him, he’s just jealous he doesn’t have a wonderful datemate like me.” Grillby pulled Sans closer, nuzzling their faces together. More stardust spread over Sans’s nasal bridge, then up to their foreheads where they were now touching.

Sans couldn’t help laughing at that, though he swatted Grillby’s arm playfully. “be nice, papyrus could have anyone he wanted for a datemate.”

“… Anyone but me.” Grillby smirked at Sans.

“who would even want you?”

“… Papyrus’s utter trash goblin brother.”

They both laughed at that, rolling onto their backs so they could howl in delight. “says the guy… dating… heh dating said… trash… goblin!” Sans gasped and sputtered, laughter too hard to even string together a single sentence.

“… Trash goblins,” Grillby devolved into more laughter, unable to talk for nearly a whole minute, “… they can’t,” a gasp, a wheeze that turned into three, “… beggars can’t be choosers!” Grillby finally gasped out.

“are you talking about me or you?”

“… I don’t even know!”

They both burst into laughter again, wheezing and snorting as Grillby clutched his belly and Sans kicked his feet. Sans had to wipe away a few tears, Grillby just let his float up and away from him. Sans stopped dead to watch the tears gather at the corner of his datemate’s eyes, then lift up into the air, the affect much like watching bubbles rise from deep waters.

“whoa.”

“… What is it?” Grillby turned to look at Sans in concern.

“your tears float. they even glow too.”

“… Well, a star is made mostly of hydrogen and helium.” Grillby wiped at the last vestiges of tears and flicked them away.

“and those are both lighter than oxygen,” Sans murmured as he watched the last tear float up and out of sight. “you’re so amazing.”

“… Why thank you.” Grillby pulled Sans close, he hummed in contentment as he nuzzled the top of the other’s head.

Sans was aware of the smear of shimmering stardust Grillby had left on his hoodie, and knew his whole face and skull were likely equally as sparkly. Sans wondered if this was some sort of star thing? Maybe marking his territory, like a cat rubbing its face on the people it likes. Ah well, it was a nice day and he was enjoying himself. Sans snuggled deeper into Grillby’s hold and enjoyed the warmth his boyfriend radiated.

Grillby was so content. Everything felt so right with the world, they were both safe and free. He let himself relax and start to drift off.

“so, we gonna eat all that wonderful food you spent all day slaving over a hot stove to make or just cuddle?”

“… Why can’t we do both?”

“sure, i could go for both.”

Standing up without letting go of each other was a bit of a struggle, there were two false starts and one stumble, but they eventually managed to stand up and walk to few steps to the picnic blanket with arms slung around each other. Once at the blanket Grillby finally had to (reluctantly) let go so he could sit down, then immediately pulled Sans into his lap. Grillby wrapped his arms around his short datemate and just enjoyed cuddling him while Sans finally opened the basket.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonus:  
> “SANS! I SEE YOUR DATE WENT VERY WELL!”
> 
> “don’t know what you’re talking about, bro.”
> 
> “YOU LOOK LIKE YOU FELL FACE FIRST INTO A VAT OF GLITTER.”


	2. Lamia Help You with That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU: Lamias  
> Pairing: Burlesque (Underfell Sans/Underlust Sans/Dancetale Sans)
> 
> Inspired by [Kamari333](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamari333)'s fic: [Burlesque](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11542425/chapters/25917414). Thank you for the wonderful fic!

Red stared out the entrance of their home, absolutely glaring at the layer of snow covering the ground and piled up over bushes and the like. It may as well have been an impenetrable wall, even if it was only a few inches. He let out an irritated growl before turning and slithering back into their warm home. He started circling the outer edges of their living room, long, thick, scarlet, scar covered tail waving erratically behind him. Lust paid him no mind as he sat at the dining room table playing a game of solitaire, his own tail coiled under him in a shimmering lavender knot, the tip languidly tapping the floor. Dance was lounging in the nest that served as their couch, his own blue tail coiled up loosely in a way that did nothing to hide the staccato thump of the tip as it tapped restlessly on the floor. Dance kept his eye lights trained on Red as he made his first circuit of the room.

Dance shifted, his tail never losing its rhythm while it coiled tighter. He rested his chin on his hands as he kept his eyes on Red, whose hands had started clenching and unclenching in time to Dance’s tail. Lust hummed to himself as he carefully placed a card down. Dance shifted again, this time curling into a tight ball in the nest’s center, his tail finally stilled only for him to start tapping out a quick beat with his hands against his tail. Red started grinding his teeth.

With a sigh Lust gathered up all the cards and carefully tucked them into their little cardboard container. Both Red and Dance stopped what they were doing to stare at Lust, watching intently as he slowly slithered over to Dance to join him in the nest. Dance immediately uncurled to wrap Lust up.

“mmm… you’re so warm,” Dance murmured as he curled around Lust.

Lust started stroking Dance’s head. Once they were both comfortably coiled up in the nest together, Lust held out a hand to Red and made a ‘come here’ motion. Red rushed over, practically lunging for the nest. He briefly rested his face against the palm of Lust’s hand, breathing out a contented little chur, then he was circling around the outer edge of the nest. Once Red was satisfied he had turned himself into a barrier between his pets and the rest of the world, he tightened his coils until he was wrapped comfortably around them. He pulled their bodies close, Sanswiching Lust between him and Dance, a comfortable tangle of clinging limbs and scaly tails.

Lust took a moment to just enjoy the attention, a hand on each of his datemates’ heads to gently stroke the tension out of them. Dance was nuzzling into his clavicle while Red used his bulk to surround them both. “there, isn’t this much better?” Lust asked softly.

“yeah,” Danced admitted with a contented sigh. One of his hands slowly crept over to Red, where it crawled up his shirt to hook into the larger lamia’s ribs possessively.

“much,” Red agreed, holding them both in his large arms. One hand came up to cradle the back of Dance’s skull. Lust let his own hand drift over Red’s, admiring how much bigger it was than his own, then went back to gently stroking the crown of Dance’s skull.

The serenity lasted all of half a minute. Red was the first to start fidgeting again, his hands restlessly wandering over both his pets, idly stroking here and there, hooking into ribs with his clever claws only to wander back off a few seconds later, plucking at clothes or scratching at joints. Dance was no better, he kept squirming as if trying to find a more comfortable position to lay in. His tail kept tensing and relaxing where it was coiled up with the other two. Lust did his best to project an aura of calm and relaxed and affection. The results were mixed at best, there was only so much you can do even with an empath for one datemate and a collar to act as one for the other.

“when will the snow end?” Dance finally whined, even if he tried to hide the whine with an irritated growl.

“another month, maybe two,” Lust responded as he ran a hand over the recently abandoned back of Dance’s skull. His other hand moved to Red’s chin for a few skritches.

“fuck!” Red yelled in response, then hugged his two pets tighter (but still gently, oh so gently). “don’ think i c’n last that long.”

“i wish we could just migrate, like birds,” Dance hugged.

Lust couldn’t help the indulgent smile that spread across his face. “we’d sure be a sight, flapping our arms as we soared across the sky, trails trailing behind us like kites.”

“don’t be a jerk,” Dance groused, but Lust could feel his repressed chuckles.

“it does sound nice,” Red sighed. “just headin’ somewhere that didn’t fuckin’ snow fer three months straight. safer ‘n tryin’ t’ hibernate too.”

“wouldn’t mind a hot spring,” Danced added almost absently as he snuggled deeper into Lust’s hold.

“that would be nice,” Lust agreed as he cooed at his datemates. His body suddenly went stiff, orbits wide and eyelights jittering as a wide grin spread across his face. The sudden change in mood had the other two alert and looking at him in worry. “we should do it! next year, when the weather starts to shift, let’s take a vacation. a nice long one, somewhere warm where we aren’t stuck inside with a bad case of cabin fever.”

“how’re we gonna afford that?” Red asked skeptically.

Dance laughed, “same way we can afford not being able to work three months out of the year.”

“don’t worry, sweetie,” Lust reassured, “a little budgeting and some planning ahead and we’ll be just fine. if we find an apartment and sign a three month lease it’ll be cheaper than staying at a hotel for three months. even if a resort is pretty tempting.”

“an’ we c’n cook fer ourselves,” Red added slowly, “which’ll be cheaper ‘n eatin’ out all the time.” He trailed off, clearly doing some mental math.

“i wouldn’t mind doing some eating out too,” Lust said as he ran a tongue over his teeth, arching his spine just so.

A soft blush dusted over Dance’s cheek bones, Red laughed and pulled his pets into another hug. “sure, we’ll eat out too.” Red added in a wink, even if he also had a faint blush of his own.

Lust couldn’t help the giddy excitement, next winter was going to be so amazing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:  
> Red curled up, the heat from the sun beating down on him from above paired with the heat radiating up from the hot sand below him a two hit combo that almost had him down for the count. His eyes were reduced to mere slits as he watched his pets happily curling up together inside the loose circle his tail made, both covered in a layer of sand sticking to their still wet bones and scales. Lust had been right, this had been an absolutely brilliant idea and he hoped they could migrate every winter.
> 
> Red suppressed a shudder, Dance lifted his head to check on Red, who just waved him off. That didn't seem to be enough, an arm reached out of the pile his pets made to pull him into it. Soon enough a second one latched onto his collar and tugged insistently, and Red couldn't refuse them. Red snuggled into his pets, happily holding them both close even has his eyes never stopped scanning the rest of the beach.
> 
> "what's wrong, sweetie?"
> 
> "jus' thinkin' 'bout the future." And wasn't that something Red thought he'd never do, never have a reason to either.


	3. The Magic of Listening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU: Pre-game  
> Pairing: Sanster (Sans/Gaster)
> 
> This chapter uses some text formatting and would be best read on a computer (as opposed to a phone, you know what they do to comic sans serif).

“THE ͏T̷EMPERA̶T͟UR͞E?” Gaster asked, his hand shaped bullets repeating the question in sign as he looked down at the paperwork on his clipboard.

“87” Sans replied absently.

Gaster scribbled down the number before moving quickly to the next line, “AN̨D ͝THE̡ ̶MA͘GIC͜ OUT̷P̨U̡T̨?” He looked up only to find Sans staring intently at the readout panel rather than looking at him. Gaster huffed a tired sigh and was about to sharply remind Sans that he needed to watch Gaster’s hands when Sans replied.

“204”

Gaster quickly jotted the number down, the last digit becoming illegible as his hand skittered to a halt, his bullets winking out of existence. Had that really just happened? Surely not, no one had ever understood his spoken words before. Not even his parents.

“everything okay over there, doc?” Sans was still standing hunched over the readout panel, his head turned to look directly at Gaster. He had a brow ridge raised, likely only amused by Gaster’s distraction rather than worried.

Gaster cleared his throat and summoned a matched set of bullets for more signing. “YES,͢ ̕I͏ W̷A͡S ͟JUS͞T͘ L͟OST ͘IN̕ M̡Y̸ OW̛N H͝EA͟D͡ ̸FOR̵ A MOM̢EN̷T.” Gaster watched Sans’s eyes, easy enough when they were glowing dots in the middle of pitch black sockets. They were on Gaster’s face, though most signs are near the face so that doesn’t mean much.

A soft grin spread across Sans’s face, “formulating some new ingenious invention?”

“C̵A̛LCU̶L͏A̷T͡IN͟G͢ ̕A̵ ͞B̕ETTER ̢M͜AG҉IC FL͟OW͡ ME҉T͘R͢IC͏, ̛D͢E̕AL͡IŅG ͝W̡I̛TH ͜SUC͟H͝ ̢LARGE ͡N͏UMBE͢R̡S̴ IS͘ CU͞M̡B̢ERSOM̢E A̷N̷D͘ I̧N̸EF̡F͞ICIENT.”

“eh, just drop the last digit and call ‘em megadoulins.”

“I ̢WOULD̴ TH͏INK DȨC̸A̡DǪU͡LIN̛S̶ ̕W͠O̵U͏LD BE̵ M͘OR҉E͠ ͡APP̶R͘O̶PR̵IATE͞, ҉BUT͞ ̛P͏EŖH̕A̕PS͢ ͘WE S҉HO͢U҉LD ̷S͠HEL̵V͘E͢ THI̡S DIS̕CUSŞIO͜N̸ UN͠T̕IĻ AFT͞E̢R WE FINISH ̧THI҉S͞ ̕TA̴S̛K.̷”

“right.” Sans turned his attention back to the readouts.

Gaster left his bullets up, an exhausting feat with how long he usually had to keep them summoned on a daily basis, but chose to leave them still as he continued. “HOW̕’͟S ͝TH̨E IN̷FL͘UX̕ F͜LO͝W͞?”

“holding steady at 102.”

Gaster almost forgot to write the number. When Sans started to turn to look his way he quickly pulled up his drooping arms and scribbled the number down. “AND̸ ̵TH͠E P̵RE͜SS͠UR͠E̶?” He glanced back up in time to find Sans looking back down at the readouts.

“32”

Gaster scribbled that down as well, the last reading to take tonight. “E̡X͝CE͘LLE͟N͡T͟… ̨E̵XC̵E̷L͘L͞E҉NT.”

“yup, all within the safe ranges. i don’t have all the records memorized, but i’m pretty sure there aren’t even any trends towards deviations.”

“I͝ D̕O͘N’T ̷THINĶ SO ̸EITH͘E̴R͟.” Gaster’s bullets twitched and gave a few half hearted signs, Sans didn’t even seem to notice.

“so what next, doc?”

“I TH̵IN̨K̸ I SHO̶UL͞D̕ ̡G҉ET͢ STAR̷T̕E̴D ͠ON̴ ̶THO̷S̷E C̨ALC̴ULATIONS͞ ̛B͘ȨF͜ƠRE̴ I̛ ĻOS͟E̢ M̕Y̷ ̢T͞ŖĄĮN͢ OF̛ THO͞UGH̢T͏.”

“sure, sure, i got some reports i’ve needed to type up for a while. if you don’t need that,” Sans pointed to the clipboard Gaster was still holding, “for your calculations, i do. compiling the data to check for drift is one of those reports.” Sans winked, likely meaning he had lied earlier and had in fact memorized the data from the last few recordings.

“R͞IG҉H̨T,͜ RIG͠HT…͞ OF C̢OUR̕SE.̴” Gaster handed over the clipboard, then stood there and watched as Sans sauntered casually away. Gaster let his bullets dissipate completely before calling out, “DON’T ͝F̛ORGE͠T̕ ͜TO ҉T͝A͠KE A ̷B҉R͡EA̷K.”

Without turning Sans raised his free hand to wave in Gaster’s general direction and called back, “take your own advice, doc.”

Once Sans was out of the room Gaster slumped against the wall and clutched his shirt, right over his soul. Sans had understood him. Sans had understood him without Gaster having to sign! How?! And how long had this been going on? Was this something Sans had been slowly working towards for a while? Something he had picked up early on and Gaster was only just now noticing? Why hadn’t he told Gaster? And why was Gaster’s magic thrumming so? Gaster felt light headed, his thoughts continuously circling, leaving him feeling dizzy and confused. Always coming back to that one thought.

Sans understands him!

It took a while, but eventually Gaster got his breathing and magic back under control. He made his way back to his office, all thoughts of Doulins and magic flow metrics forgotten.

Over the next few days Gaster found himself distracted. This was a common enough occurrence that everyone assumed he was thinking over some scientific quandary or musing how best to make some idea into reality, but the truth was he couldn’t seem to keep his mind off Sans. The small skeleton had always been an enigma: he never seemed to want to work but somehow his work was always done on time and was very thorough, he was always joking and being friendly with the other staff but didn’t seem to actually be friends with anyone, he always looked rumpled and unkempt but somehow wasn’t a walking hazard for his coworkers. In the past Gaster had just shrugged it off, Sans had applied here right after finishing school and his skills, grades, and long list of glowing recommendations was enough to get him hired. So long as he got his work done and done well, what did Gaster care?

But now Gaster did care. He found himself wondering what kind of monster Sans was to somehow learn to understand Gaster’s garbled speech? It must have taken a great deal of dedication. Granted part of why Gaster hired Sans was because he was brilliant with patterns, but was that alone enough? Surely one of the few others that worked in the Lab would have figured out the trick before now if that were the case. Gaster had tested them, everyone else watched his hands. Perhaps Sans’s way with words had something to do with it? He seemed able to pun and pull out clever wordplay in any situation.

Gaster shook his head to clear it of these circling thoughts, he was supposed to be looking over the reports on the Core’s output and the projected numbers on the draw from the Underground’s residents. With the extension of the dimensional power relays to Snowdin going online soon the draw on the Core was expected to go up quite a bit. Ah, here they are! Gaster picked up the reports and started looking them over. He noted they were written in Sans’s round handwriting…

In disgust Gaster put the reports down and decided to go to the break room for a cup of coffee. This shouldn’t be so distracting, why was his concentration so shot? Gaster sighed and berated himself over his inability to work as he prepared himself a cup of lukewarm, stale coffee. The object of Gaster’s ~~obsession~~ distraction walked in. It took all of Gaster’s self control not to spit out or choke on the coffee he was in the middle of drinking.

“heya doc, anything interesting going on?” Sans headed straight for the sink and rinsed out his own mug.

“NO͏THI̶N͏G MUC͜H͝,̧ J̵U͘ST ̵HAVI͝N̴G ̧T̢R̵O̸UB̴LE̴ CON̨C̡ENTRATĮNG̨ O͡N ̴ALL̡ ̴THE ͜DU͘L̕L͡ ͢REPORTS I HAVE͜ T͡O̢ ͜R͘EA̵D̨.”

“you think reading them’s dull? try writing them!” Sans winked up at Gaster before he turned his attention to the coffee pot.

“WEL̛L̴ PERHAP͝S T͢HE͏Y̴ ̕WO͠ULDN’T̶ BE SO ̵DU͟LL ͟T͞O͠ ̨READ OR ̶WRI͡T̡E͢ ĮF̨ YOU P͝U̧T͏ A͜ L̷ITTLE ͞P͜I̕ZZ̛AZ̧Z ͢I͟N͏T̨O͞ TH͡EM.̕”

“oh sure, i’ll just doll up the graphs on the core’s recent readings with some glitter and stickers.”

Gaster barked in laughter, the idea wasn’t all together unappealing.

Sans grinned up at him like Gaster had just made his day. “i can turn all my reports into real craft projects. print them out on colored paper, get some of those scrap booking scissors, stickers, and glitter glue. jazz those reports up real nice, you won’t be able to put them down.”

Gaster wheezed as Sans continued, “I҉F̕ YOU ̧U͏S̴E G̨LI̧TTER̸ GLU͟Ę I̛ ̸I͜M̢AG͠I̛NE͏ N͝O̷ O̷N͏E WI̸LL͏ BE AB͢LE͝ T̢O͟ P̛U̷T̸ T̴HE̛M̛ DO͜WN.̛”

“that’s the point!”

Gaster laughed all the harder, then started to calm himself down. He had a wide smile on his face as he looked down at Sans, who was looking up at him with a smile just as wide. Gaster’s soul gave an odd flutter.

Oh no.

“WELL TH̷IS ̶W͡AS̨ A͡ N̛ICE BR̡EĄK,̸ BUT ̷I ̧HA͏VȨ M͘Y COFF̵EE AND̨ SH̢O͞ULD̴ G̛ȨT BACK̷ TO W̧O͢R̶K.” Gaster’s bullets signed wildly (he didn’t even need them when it was just him and Sans, why had he summoned them?!) as he turned and power walked out of the room. He continued to power walk right to his office, where he shut and locked the door. He absently put down his mug of now cold coffee before collapsing into his chair, head on his desk, arms thrown haphazardly over that. He groaned loudly.

He can’t have _feelings_ for Sans! Sans was his employee for the Angel’s sake! That would be highly inappropriate! Not to mention how much older Gaster was than Sans, maybe not quite old enough to be his father but close enough! And even if those two very good reasons weren’t enough their personalities just weren’t a match! Sans was very casual and immature, even if his silly jokes did always manage to make Gaster laugh… and Sans always knew when it was time to stop joking… and had proven time and again he was actually very responsible about his work load…

Gaster groaned again. No! This was wrong on too many levels! He sat up a little to look down at where his soul was fluttering in his chest, a soft light barely visible through his shirt. “YO͘U̡ S҉TO̕P THA͝T!̷ ͘I’̷M ͏HIS ͡BOSS̵, A̕N͠D S̶O̕ MU̴CH͜ ͜OLDER҉ ̶T̵HAN ҉HI͠M̷,̷ ͡IŢ ̷WOU̡LD̕ ͠N̶E͟VER W̨ORK! AS ROY̵AL͟ SCIE͢N̷TIS̕T͡ ̴I ͘HAV̕E FA̕R ͟TO͢O MA̧N͝Y ̶R̡EŞPON͞SI҉B͠IL̛IT͟IES͘ ͝W̛IT̢HO͟UT ̨AD҉D̷ING ANY ̛C̷OM̨PL͞I͘ÇA̕TIO̴NS…͢”

But no matter how much he argued, his soul kept fluttering and glowing brighter and brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:  
> Gaster picked up the file folder the next report was in, an unusual addition when most were just a few pages stapled together, then again this one felt a bit hefty. He casually flipped it open, some glitter fell out and onto his desk. Gaster looked down at the sprinkling of glitter in surprise, then focused back on the report itself. It was printed out on pastel green paper and seemed to have glitter thrown at it, just enough to leave the paper a little sparkly. There were also holographic smiley face stickers of various expressions stuck to the margins, one particularly frowny face was next to a section that was underlined. In red crayon.
> 
> Gaster had to repress a laugh, a hand over his mouth to hold in the manic giggles that were seeping out. He turned the page. The next paper was a graph that had been printed out on regular paper, parts of it colored in with marker, the whole thing cut out and pasted to a pastel pink paper. More holographic smiley face stickers at various data points. Gaster couldn’t hold in the laughter any more. He dropped the folder and hid his face behind his hands as he laughed helplessly.


	4. Who's a Pretty Kitty?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU: Cats (and not the nekomimi (cat ear) kind)  
> Pairing: ClassicCherryBerry (Undertale Sans/Underfell Sans/Underswap Sans)

Goldfang growled and hissed indignantly as he was being manhandled yet again. It had been several days since he had been captured by the giants and the indignities he had suffered since then were too terrible and numerous to name. It wasn’t fair! The only reason they had caught him was because he was injured, sickly, and weak from being unable to hunt due to being injured and sickly. A lucky swipe from a rival had him blinded in one eye and the other swollen half shut, and between that and the freezing weather a lifetime of easily avoiding the tall creatures was suddenly down the drain. He cursed the asshole that had clawed up his eye.

He _could_ have been proud over the fact it had taken so much to go wrong before the giants could finally get their hands on him if not for the fact that they _had_ actually caught him. The indignities! The unmentionable, unreasonable, unspeakable indignities! One of which was the pair of giants currently shoving him bodily into a too small space, the thick gloves they wore to protect their delicate flesh from his vengeful claws was only salt on the wound.

He sat in the cage and growled at anyone that came too close, whoever let him out was going to regret it. One of the giants approached, one Goldfang had never seen or smelt before. It smelled strongly, both of its own musk as well as the scent of two other cats. Not that that meant much, most of the giants he had met in this awful place smelled of cats or other animals. The giant crouched down so its fat, ugly, long face was even with the cage. It spoke in a deep voice that rumbled through Goldfang like rolling thunder. Goldfang responded with a particularly caustic hiss.

The giant moved to the side, where the cage was made of a thick, sooth wall rather than metal bars. Goldfang hunkered down, ready to pounce when the giant made the mistake of letting him out. Instead the floor felt like it fell out as the cage was lifted up. Shit, Goldfang forgot some of the cages could be picked up. He yowled and twisted around inside his prison. His pleas and threats were ignored, the cage simply swayed with a gentle motion as he continued to rail against his prison.

Goldfang quickly grew tired. The giants may have been feeding him regularly, which in no way negated their otherwise awful treatment of him, but he still felt weak from days upon days of barely catching any prey. He gave up and settled down, occasionally growling or hissing when the cage dipped or moved in a particularly unsettling way. Better to conserve hiss strength for when someone eventually opened the door.

They had entered a different place, the musk of the giant and the scent of the other two cats was much stronger here. Goldfang could even hear them.

“hello asgore, welcome home!”

“I MISSED YOU! OH, WHAT’S THAT? DID YOU BRING SOMETHING HOME?” A gasp that sounded far too dramatic, “DID YOU BRING _SOMEONE_ HOME?! A NEW FRIEND? HELLO, NEW FRIEND!”

“they must be hurt or sick, smell the medicines? poor guy. don’t worry, pal, asgore’ll take care of you.”

“YES! ASGORE IS A VERY KIND MONSTER WHO TAKES EXCELLENT CARE…” The rest of his sentence was muffled, likely by a door closing if that click was anything to go by.

The giant rumbled something, then the cage was set down. The door opened. Goldfang burst out of it, the looked around frantically to find cover. Wherever they were there was a lot of open space in the center with several things around the area that looked like they had spaces underneath perfect for hiding under. He headed for the nearest one as quickly as he could with a bandaged leg. He almost got under it, but the annoying cone strapped to his neck and extending around his head was too big to fit. He skirted around the edge of the area, trying and failing to fit under any of the large objects. After going all the way around the room he finally got to the largest object, the wide, short one that had a taller space under it than any other. Eureka! He fit! It was dusty under there, but he was hidden and that was enough. He went all the way to the far back corner, surely even the giant couldn’t reach him all the way back here.

The giant spoke again, but its words had no meaning to Goldfang. He chose to simply stay where he was and ready his claws in case the giant tried anything. Whatever it said must have been a prelude to it leaving, because that’s just what the giant did. After a while Goldfang’s curiosity got the better of him, he crawled close to the edge of his hiding place and carefully sniffed. The area seemed empty of all living things, but something smelled delicious. More of the strange giant food, but he was hungry and the food was good. He cautiously crawled out and inspected the food. Next to it was a bowl of water, which was nice. There was also a deep tray of the strange, dry, pebbly dirt giants had. If this giant actually expected Goldfang to use it then it was in for an unpleasant surprise.

Goldfang ate his food and drank some water, then explored the area he was trapped in. There were several small toys, a couple pillows, and a free standing post all set out in the otherwise open center of the area. Goldfang ignored them and instead decided to try climbing all the things. The only one he managed was the wide, short one that doubled as his hiding place. There was nothing interesting on top aside from how soft it was.

There was a sound from outside the door. Goldfang decided the best thing to do was to go back under his hiding place. He calmly and elegantly made his way back under it, there was certainly no stumbling or scurrying involved. Once back in the far corner he settled down into a comfortable loaf and let sleep wash over him.

He woke up to yelling. It was muffled, but close enough to be heard even through the door. The two cats he hadn’t met yet were talking as loudly as possible, like they were talking to someone who’s hearing was going or a particularly dense kitten.

“that’s some good food! i can smell it! the really good stuff! you’re gonna share it with us, right?”

“FOOD! I’M SO HUNGRY! STARVING! YOU HAVEN’T FED US IN YEARS!”

The giant rumbled back. Then there was a click and everything got louder. Goldfang shrank back further into his hiding spot, wary about being found. Whatever was going on, the giant didn’t sound very happy.

“are we eating in here? this isn’t the normal spot, big guy! whatever, just put it down already!”

“OH, HERE YOU ARE. HELLO, NEW FRIEND!” One of the cats had found Goldfang’s hiding spot and was making his way slowly closer, crouching despite the hiding spot being tall enough to walk under. He was sniffing carefully as he inched closer and closer, his bright blue eyes and the soft gray coat reflecting what little light filtered into Goldfang’s hiding place.

“uh… hi. i uh… i don’t want no trouble. i didn’t choose t’ get in yer territory, th’ giant brought me.” Goldfang figured the best way to start was to wash himself of all blame.

“you found our new buddy?” The other slipped into the hiding place, his white fur so long and so thick it brushed both the ceiling and the floor. Goldfang could also just barely make out the fact one eye was the same bright blue as the other cat, but the other one was golden.

“I SURE DID, HE SAYS HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE HERE THOUGH.” The gray one said, still crouching strangely.

“well you know how the giants are.” The white one rolled his eyes, then slowly approached. “the name’s sans, and this here’s blue.”

“NICE TO MEET YOU.”

“yeah, sure. m’ name’s goldfang.”

“THAT’S A WEIRD NAME.”

“it’s ‘cause m’ fangs are gold.” Goldfang bared his sharp teeth to show them off.

“eh, i’d call them more tarnished than gold, but what do i know?”

The giant spoke then, its voice sounded slightly pleading and there was some kind of patting sound to go with it.

“ASGORE WANTS US, I SUPPOSE IT’S BREAKFAST TIME.”

“i am feeling a bit peckish.” They both turned and left the hiding spot. Goldfang was going to just let them, but his curiosity got the better of him. He followed them to the edge and peeked out. They greeted the giant loudly, it responded by putting down two bowls for them. Now that they were out in the light Goldfang could see Blue’s legs clearly, they were really, really short.

Then the giant was approaching his hiding place, Goldfang slunk further back. The giant kneeled down and pushed something into the hiding spot, then got up and left. Goldfang could smell it, a bowl of food. He crept forward and sniffed at it cautiously, he almost didn’t hear the click of a door closing. Seems the giant had left, well that was fine by him. He settled down to eat his meal.

Once finished, Goldfang settled in for a nap. Unfortunately the other two had different plans. There was a tinkling sound, as well as a conversation he couldn’t seem to ignore.

“C’MON, SANS! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO MOVE MUCH, JUST BAT IT BACK.”

“you say that, but you always send it wide.”

Goldfang huffed, then went and poked his head out of his hiding place.

“THERE HE IS! I TOLD YOU HE’D COME OUT EVENTUALLY.”

“was tryin’a sleep,” Goldfang grumbled.

“i like his plan better.” Sans batted aside something that tinkled harshly before coming to rest, then walked a little close to Goldfang.

Goldfang came the rest of the way out of his hiding place to get a better look at what the others were doing, sitting on his haunches near the thing Sans had batted aside. He poked it with a paw, it rocked and tinkled.

“WE CAN’T SLEEP ALL DAY,” Blue said in disgust.

“’m injured,” Goldfang pointed out with a nod of his head and the stupid cone attached to it.

“OKAY, YOU HAVE A POINT. _YOU_ CAN SLEEP ALL DAY.”

Sans curled around Goldfang and lay down, tail curling and uncurling languidly. “no reason we can’t sleep with him.”

“FOR A LITTLE WHILE, JUST SO WE DON’T DISTURB HIM.” Blue walked over and curled around Goldfang’s other side. “BUT WHEN YOU’RE FEELING BETTER WE’RE GOING TO PLAY. ASGORE SAID YOU USED TO BE WILD, I BET YOU’RE GREAT AT HUNTING AND WRESTLING!”

“’m still wild,” Goldfang grumbled as he looked around himself. He was in a bit of a bind, he was still sitting and Blue and Sans were curled around him so he had no room to lay down. Eh, their fault for snuggling up like that. He flopped over.

“hey, watch it!”

“WOW, RUDE.”

Goldfang ignored their protests as he got into a comfortable position.

When Asgore entered the room later to check on the injured cat he had agreed to foster, he found all three cats curled up in a cuddle pile and purring like a well oiled machine. He very much didn’t want to disturb them and carefully tiptoed around the guest room until he got to the bed. Kneeling down to pull the bowl he had pushed under their earlier was a pain in the tail. Getting back up even more so. Then he had to very carefully tiptoe his way back out, all without disturbing his little furry friends. He breathed a sigh of relief once the door was shut snugly behind him.

“Well,” Asgore said to himself as he padded into the kitchen, “if they are so fond of each other already I suppose this will not be as temporary as I first agreed to. I shall have to give our new friend a name, I suppose. Hmmmm…” He hummed in thought as he carefully washed out the bowl. “Scar, perhaps? Though we do not yet know if that wound over his eye will scar, and it is far too violent a name. His coat is black… no. Black is too plain a name.” He checked the time, the bright red numbers reminding of his new pet’s eyes, his next dose wasn’t due yet. “I have some time to think of the right name yet. In the mean time I suppose I should inform the shelter I will keep him after all.”

Asgore hummed happily to himself as he reached for the landline. The house would certainly be more lively with another cat around, he found himself quite looking forward to it. Perhaps it was time to convert the spare room into a play room for the cats after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:  
> Asgore smiled as he flicked the feathered toy back and forth, Blue and Red both staring at it intently. He wriggled the toy enticingly, Red wriggled his butt as he readied to pounce. Blue must have noticed because he quickly crouched and launched himself at the toy, taking Asgore by surprise. Red didn’t seem to want to be outdone, he launched himself at Blue and tried to wrestle the toy out of his grip. Asgore laughed and let toy go, watching as the two cats fought over who got to keep the prize. It was good to let a cat actually catch whatever you were playing with them with, something like a laser pointer was just cruel.
> 
> While the two wrestled with the jingling, feathery toy, Asgore turned his attention to Sans, who had curled up next to him. He ran a paw gently over the sleepy cat’s long, fluffy fur. Sans made a little chirpy noise, then leaned into the attention. Soon enough Red came to join them, loafing up next to Sans and well within Asgore’s reach. Asgore couldn’t be happier, the surly cat was finally accepting his attention. Blue trotted by, the toy proudly held in his mouth even as the handle trailed the ground behind him. Asgore’s chest felt so warm and light, what a wonderful way to spend the evening.


	5. Abandon Ship!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU: Mermaid/Siren AU  
> Pairing: Sansby (Sans/Grillby)

Grillby paced his room for the thousandth time, or what felt like it anyway. It was only just after dinner, too early to turn in quite yet. Not to mention the restless energy suffusing his core. He turned sharply to the door and yanked it open, perhaps getting out of the room for a little while would help.

Once out in the hall his stiff posture didn’t relax at all, in fact his shoulders only stiffened further. His flames flickered wildly as he forced himself to take slow steps down the hall. The doors lining either side were all firmly shut, only to be expected this time of evening. All too soon he had made a full round and was back in front of his own room. Grillby let out a steaming sigh.

Three weeks, it had only been three weeks into the journey and they still had a good five or more to go. He was going stir crazy, he had cabin fever, he couldn’t stand being cooped up any longer! But the only alternate was to go out on deck and stare at the vast reaches of freezing water he was surrounded by.

With a slump to his shoulders, Grillby turned and started for the stairs leading up to the deck. The dining hall would still be open, and it was only a short walk between it and the stairwell. Perhaps he could have some dessert or some coffee, maybe talk with whatever passengers were still there or even the chefs. Anything to keep his mind off his cramped room or the fact only some very flammable wood stood between him and a whole ocean of miserable death liquid.

Once up on deck his eyes flitted over to the railing against his will. It had grown dark since dinner, without the sun glaring off the waves the ocean almost looked like nothing at all. Just a vast void, almost a reflection of the empty night sky above. That… didn’t seem so bad. Grillby carefully walked up to the railing and put a hand on it as he looked out at the ocean. Between the heavy clouds and the faint reflections of the ship’s lanterns on the water it really wasn’t so bad. The air was still horribly damp, but he could deal with that.

The view would be better without the ship’s lanterns, Grillby turned his head slightly, a dark patch in his peripheral catching his attention. There were less lanterns at the ship’s rear, and there was railing back there too. Before Grillby knew it he had drifted to the very back of the ship, leaning with his elbows on the railing, hands limp, feet still, staring at the vast emptiness behind the ship.

“pssssssst. hey!”

Grillby perked up, looking around and behind him to find the voice.

“down here.”

Grillby looked down. There was someone clinging to the back of the ship, half their body sunk in the dark water. What little light Grillby cast was barely enough to outline their still wet body.

“hi.”

Grillby cautiously raised a hand in greeting.

“i’ve never seen a monster like you before. why are you lit up so strangely like that? all… flickering.”

“… I don’t really have much of a choice,” Grillby answered slowly. “What are you doing down there? Did you fall?”

“nah, never been on one of these things before, but they’re always so interesting.” They reached up and started to haul themselves further up the side of the ship. Grillby leaned over, the slight change in the angle of the light he cast just enough to help him see more clearly as they hauled a tail out of the water. Grillby stared in awe as they seated themselves on a porthole. “people are always throwing things over the back, can’t figure half of them out. and food too, which means whole schools of fish following you guys around like guppies. makes my life easier.”

“… A mermaid,” Grillby said in awe. It was rare for land monsters to interact with sea monsters, especially those that lived in the deep waters. It was just as rare for a fire elemental to brave traveling by ship, it was no wonder they had never seen anyone like Grillby before.

The mermaid laughed, “i mean, i guess you can call me that if you want. i prefer what the humans call us: sirens. or you can just call me sans.” They winked.

“… Grillby.”

“nice to meet you.” Sans reached up and offered a hand. Grillby had to crouch down and snake an arm between the railing. When his hand made contact with the siren’s thin and knobby hand the moisture on it sizzled and evaporated.

“… Nice to meet you too.”

 

* * *

 

The following two weeks were better. Grillby’s new friend turned out to be a fount of information on the ocean, which Grillby had to admit to a morbid curiosity about. Sans was just as curious about Grillby and life on land.

“… You could ask anyone about what life is like for land monsters.”

“not anyone lights up the way you do.”

Grillby had to laugh at that, his fiery nature is what had caught Sans’s attention enough to get him to talk in the first place. Grillby was sitting at a gap in the railing at the ship’s back, legs dangling over the edge, Sans next to him, both with a plate in their laps Grillby had brought from the dining hall.

“… I have to admit, the ocean is very frightening for most land monsters.”

“i don’t see why, it’s a whole lot of nothing this far out.”

“… That’s exactly why. Most of us can’t breathe water, if I fell in the water would smother me and snuff me out.” Grillby shuddered at the mere thought.

“if you fell in, i’d rescue you. i promise.”

Grillby looked up, something about the solemn tone Sans spoke in pressing home just how serious he was being. “… Thank you, that means a lot.”

The next time they spoke Sans had brought a live fish with him and handed it over to Grillby proudly. Grillby rolled up his sleeves before taking the slippery thing and lighting his hands up. Sans laughed at the display.

“don’t you land monsters usually gut and descale them?”

Grillby shrugged. “… Like I know anything about fish.” Somehow he thought that fish tasted better than the ones in the dining hall, no matter how expertly the chefs had prepared them.

 

* * *

 

Grillby was sleeping in his tiny bed inside his cramped room. The ship groaned and swayed, a usual occurrence for a ship out to sea but something about it woke Grillby up. He sat shivering on the bed, flinching with every groan and lurch of the ship.

“… It’s okay, it’s okay, just some rough water, nothing we haven’t dealt with before.” It was almost funny, when it rained the first week he had absolutely panicked. They had had an actual storm between then and now, it had been just like this. Grillby pulled his blanket tighter around him and reminded himself that this too shall pass.

And then water started seeping under his door.

It was a puddle slowly spreading into the room, like someone had dropped a bucket of water near his door. But his room was below decks, if the ship took on too much water it would sink. Grillby threw off his blanket. A coat was hastily pulled on over his night shirt, feet shoved into boots without a care for socks. He wrenched the door open with a loud squeal. The hallway was flooded. Water seeping faster as he watched. Grillby yelped, then ran for the stairway. He banged on the doors he passed, though several already were open and had wide eyed monsters peeking out. When he got to the stairs they were a waterfall, more and more water kept pouring down them faster and faster. Grillby climbed them frantically, ignoring the sting as water splashed over him. There was no intent to this water, no harmful magic, it could only be uncomfortable. It would take far more water for it do him any real damage, and even drowning would be slow because like all monsters he was made of magic first and foremost.

Grillby tried not to think about any of that as he reached the top of the stairs. The sight that greeted him was horrifying. Sailors slipping and sliding over the wet, bucking deck as they tried to do whatever it is sailors do during a storm. Huge waves crashed against the side of the ship and rushed over the deck. There was a flash of lightning. Before Grillby’s vision even cleared the boom of thunder followed, slowly fading to be swallowed by the roaring wind.

“Are we sinking?” Someone yelled frantically from near Grillby’s shoulders. “Should we go to the life boats?”

“What good would those do with waves this high?!”

Grillby pulled his jacket tighter against his body, squinting in the wind and rain. It wasn’t far to the dining hall. It was a big room with wide open space and lots of things that could fly at him as the ship lurched sickeningly, not to mention the large windows that could easily be shattered by the wind. But it was still better than sitting in a slowly flooding room.

Grillby gripped the wall and slowly started making his way to the dining hall, leaving the other passengers to argue about whether it was better to start a bail line or abandon ship. Grillby’s feet slipped and nearly flew out from under him three times in the short distance to the dining hall’s door. Grillby had just barely made it when a loud sound deafened him, followed by groaning and shrieks. The deck tilted further than it ever had before. Grillby grabbed the door’s handle.

Locked.

He clung to it desperately as his feet finally slipped out from under him. A wave crashed over the ship. The force and painful burn wrung a cry from Grillby as he lost his grip and slid over the deck. He managed to grab the railing and clung to it desperately. The next wave washed over him completely, leaving him drifting. Drowning.

This was it, the slow, suffocating death he had feared when he started this journey. The risk didn’t seem worth it now, he should have just stayed home. As he sank into the dark, cold waters his flames shrank and dimmed until he was just a vaguely Grillby shaped ember sinking further and further. The sound of the storm above him faded. His light was so low now, the cold burned so badly, his vision swam and dimmed. He must have imagined the glint of something approaching.

He was almost too numb to feel the arms wrap around him, thin and hard. A blurry face came vaguely into view, only the barest of light reflecting off smooth bone, the brightly glowing pair of stars in twin voids darker than even the vast, empty ocean. Grillby tried to smile though the motion was painful. Sans was here, he had kept his promise. Too bad he was too late, Grillby had sunk too far. No matter how fast Sans swam there’d be no way to make it to the surface before the last vestiges of heat were drained from his core and his soul shattered. Sans pulled Grillby close, their faces gently touching.

Grillby’s last kiss.

He closed his eyes, savoring the last moments of his life. The kiss was nice, surprisingly warm for how cold the sea monster’s touch had always been. Or perhaps that was the numbness from drowning. Sans pulled him tighter, deepening the kiss as he did so. The warmth spread out from Grillby’s face, tingling as it spiraled from his chest to his limbs. He felt strange, light and heavy all at once, warmth glowing from within, pushing the cold away until the pressure from the water felt more like a comforting embrace. Sans pulled away, somehow suddenly much clearer despite the water only growing darker as they continued to sink. Sans grinned, his hand gently squeezing Grillby’s.

Grillby looked down at their hands, his looked strange for some reason. It was just as orange as usual, which was odd considering it should be a dull gray and crumbling by now.

“breathe, grillby.”

He did, one deep, easy breath he let out slowly. His chest felt strange, his legs even stranger. He held up his other hand, squinting as he pulled it close to his face. It seemed to glint in the dim light, but strangely it wasn’t flickering. He looked back at Sans, clearly seeing his bright blue tail with brilliant yellow fins even in the dark. Then he looked down at himself. His chest was still covered in his nightshirt and sturdy jacket, out of the bottom of which came a long orange tail with fluttering fins ranging from a cheery yellow to rosy red-orange tones on the ruffled edges.

“… I… I don’t understand… what… Sans…?”

“i promised you, didn’t i?” Sans grinned all the harder. “now you don’t have to worry about drowning ever again.” Sans tugged on Grillby’s hand, drawing him further down.

“… Wait, there were others on the ship.”

“and there are other sirens, it’s why i took so long to find you in that mess, sorry about that.”

“… Oh, that’s… I… it’s…” Grillby pulled Sans close, reveling in how much warmer he felt now. Their faces touched. This kiss was very different from the last, his face no longer an amorphous mass of energy and plasma. It felt nice, weird, but nice. “… thank you.”

They pulled apart, now only their foreheads touching as Grillby smiled at his rescuer. Sans’s face lit up, a soft blue glow that barely touched the dark water around them. “you’re welcome.”

They stayed like that, slowly drifting with their foreheads barely touching, staring into each others’ eyes, Grillby’s thumb gently running over Sans’s hands. Sans seemed to shake himself out of it, pulling away and tugging on Grillby’s hand again. “c’mon, there’s so much i want to show you!”

Grillby chuckled as he let himself be led further down, “… I look forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:  
> “… I don’t know why more of you don’t do this.”
> 
> “eh, it’s pretty far to go. most of us don’t have a reason to bother.”
> 
> “… Not even your brother?” Grillby nudged Sans’s shoulder with his own as he smiled at him.
> 
> “he may have way, way, way more motivation than me to do just about anything, but he still has to have a reason to do something first.”
> 
> “… That is true. Well I have a reason, and so here we are.” And they were. The pair surfaced, swimming slowly through the gathered ships and the many ropes tangling the water. “… I hadn’t taken just how high up the docks actually are from the water either.”
> 
> “yeah, it sure doesn’t help.”
> 
> “Hey there! Did you two fall in?” A monster was crouched near the end of a dock, they seemed ready to run for help.
> 
> “… No, we belong in the water. But if you could do me a huge favor, I have a message I’d like to get to my family...”


End file.
